I started my day intent on taking lots of pics to put on here but was rapidly disabused of that notion when I entered the military compound and my camera was removed. They have never done that before, but I guess posting pictures of a military installation on a blog is not really secure! I SOOOOOO wanted to show you though. I shall describe it. There is, outside town, a massive big white wall with barbwire on top. You drive up to it thinking... oooh, fancy (by Sudan standards, you understand). It goes on for a couple of km's but eventually you enter through a lovely big gate, and...... nothing. Seriously, nothing. There are some prefab buildings in the distance and some tents and thats about it. So, ok. Fine, drive to a prefab building, walk into what looks like a teenagers bedroom (without the bed) and you get to meet Mr VIP.
On this occasion, however, I had to wait as they were all eating. I sat in the corridor/place between prefabs, and was rapidly approached by two men in unifrom. They began with the usual pleasantries. Where are you from, do you have children, I have 500... and then finally one of them sat down next to me and says, 'Madam can I ask you a favour?' I was a little suspicious but said yes anyway.
'Madam, I need school fees for my children. Will you pay them for me?
Just like that. I said no, that I didnt have any money in this country.
'But madam, you are Kawaja (white person), I know you have money. Why wont you help Sudan? My children need an education so that Sudan can grow. Why can you not do this?'
Luckily, at this point I was summoned to the office.
I had three people I had to meet today. VIP 1, 2, and 3. Mainly it was courtesy calls, the equivalent of jumping up and down with my hands in the air saying, 'HELLOOOO! Remember me? Yeah, thats right, me with the proposal!' Of course, what I actually said was, 'Hi there, I just thought I would stop by and bring greetings from my boss in UK. He sends his regards and says he will be back soon.' Courtesy is very important here. You cant start a conversation without enquiring about the health of VIP's self, family, cattle and general state of mind. After going through this with VIP 1, he asks me take a seat, offers me water (lifeblood I tell you, in this heat), and then asks, 'So, Madam, are you married?' Now, when I first got here it was too difficult to fabricate a fictitious husband as that would lead to questions of children, and why a healthy girl, almost past her prime (I am 25, but thats old to these people) doesnt have any. So I created a Fiance. I also wear a band on my wedding finger. This, apperently does not work.
VIP 1: Are you married, madam?
Me: No, but I am engaged.
VIP 1: Aaah, so you are still available!
Me: No, I love my fiance very much
VIP 1: Ah, but you are not married yet, there is still time for me to make my offer!
Me: No really, I love my fiance and will have no one else.
VIP 1: Yes but what does he have to offer you? I can offer 150 heads of cattle for your family. Does your father approve?
Holy shit, I am stuck in the dark ages. I finally get out of the conversation by cunningly changing topic and then moving to the office of VIP 2.
Me: Hello sir how is your wife, uncle, 10 children, 3000 cattle, neighbours dog, local shop owner etc etc etc.
VIP 2: Ah I see you are not with Mr Boss today? So, are you married?
REPEAT
And again:
Me: Hello sir (place correct self given rank here), how are... blah blah blah... (I very nearly said 'blah blah blah', I was so bored by this point)
VIP 3: Aaaaaa, Madam. So tell me, are you married?
I have seldom felt so pleased to leave place.
Anyway, next stop was VIP Location no 2 to discuss another proposal. Luckily, this man simply said he had recieved the proposal, passed it on to the correct person, and that it was best I went to go and see him at the Ministry. YAY! Coherent conversation!
Off to the ministry. By this time it was about 4pm, and I was looking forward to getting home and having a beer. I arrived at the ministry, found the correct office and guess what?? There are two armed and AWAKE guards outside his door! I was directed to another office with a man seated behind the table who seemed friendly enough. After the pleasantries I explained who I was and he said he would go to the office and speak to Mr MAJOR VIP.
I waited about 2 hours. I was accoumpanied in the office by another woman waiting who looked like she had spent her whole life sucking lemons, and due to recent events, had decided to graduate to limes. Finally, after a lifetime in which all my lifebearing eggs actually had got past their prime, I was told by Mr Go-between that Mr MAJOR VIP hadn't had time to go through the proposal, but I should come back in a few days. I have finally found the red tape! There is, indeed, some left fluttering about out there! Despite my annoyance, general bad mood, and exhaustion I was cheared by the fact that I now had some incling of what Amy goes through, and that I could sympathise.
I was about to leave when Mr Go-between stoped me and said:
'So, madam, are you married?'
10 comments:
Wonderful! Please let the government of Southern Sudan know that if they are short of red tape, I will be only too glad to make a generous donation!
In other news, the driving license authorities in SA have finally stopped using the Red Sticky Tape on temporary drivers licenses. I guess they finally decided that the level of irony was just inappropriate for the "public service".
I'm quietly shaking in amusement at my desk!!! It has to be quiet. I feel the red tape thing... I work for a bank!!!
My suggestion... next time you go anywhere... wear two rings... maybe even cover your hair, and throw a couple of socks/jersey's etc into the front of your top!!!!! That way you may just be left alone in terms of personal stuff. Otherwise... accept, take 10% of labola, open a steak ranch and live happily ever after!!!!
Amy: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Thats hilarious! Does that mean that the temporary one I have is no longer valid, and is, in fact a collectable item? Ah, if only.
Shivs: 10%??? 100% you mean! My dad is plenty wealthy. The steak ranch is a good idea actually.... hmmmmm.....
that is such a strange place! i think you need to get "married" really soon... that's just creepy! LOL
Wow Miss P, you're even a male magnet in Sudan ... Impressive! :P
Sweets: That is my intention. I am going on holiday in just over two months, and when I get back, I have every intention of wearing a wedding ring and tellling them all I got married.
Miss M: I dont think this counts... although, I think I have now had more proposals than I can count!
The stakes are out of my league. I don't have even one head of cattle (cow) to offer. :(
Charley hun, you realise that when I come back from the States, its you I am going to say I am married to, dont you? No cattle neccessary...
So you are equivalent to the most popular girl in school?
I never did understand why a man would want to marry a woman he does not know or is not in love with. I know the customs and all, but I just don't understand it at one bit. Hopeless romantic here.
I really get annoyed with woman in the states who take our lifestyle for granted and don't realize what women in other countries go through. Nor, do they care.
It is also pretty sad that the men there are all so desperate to marry. Is multiple wives customary in Sudan?
Not only are multiple wives customary, but haveing a white wife is considered to be a very high status! So all the important generals etc, want a white woman on their arm, cause no one else can get one. And, unfortunately, I am the only white woman they come into contact with. All the other women here are involved in NGO and aid agency work, and never come into contact with the military or the police as I have to do in Security. So that leaves just me for them to try it on with!
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