Its been a while

Ok, so after much disgust from various parties about my complete lack of posts in the last week, I have finally succumbed to the pressure and sat my ass down to write something.

However, I just don't know quite what to mention. I am running out of sense of humour recently, I have to admit. I mean, its been your usual Juba week. Should I relate a moment from the party I went to? Or should I talk about the fact that the road to my house is completely washing away with each rain storm? Or maybe the massive market that has suddenly appeared from nowhere near my site, and has the place crawling with drunken people walking into the road? Hmmmm.

Work I think. We have a new client. Our new client is a reputable NGO that works all over South Sudan. Whats great about the contract is that if they like our guarding services, they are going to use us in the national sites, so thats about 100 guards. Do you have any idea how much money that is??? And I get bonuses for every guard I place. 100 bonuses....... *sigh* Now, our gaurds are good guys. We have had a couple of complaints about sleeping on duty but thats kinda par for the course, so I was confident. We placed some of the new guys and a few of the old faithfuls on each site, and left them to it.

Two days after the contract starts I get a text message from the Director of the NGO. 'Your guard has disappeared. Plese find a replacement immediately'. Fuck. Racing around for 30minutes gets me a guard willing to work for the day, and delivered to the site. When I arrive on site I go see the director, and tell her that the replacement has arrived. She tells me that the guard (who at this location is a woman...according to her ID) has returned and told her she was on a lunch break..... huh? So I call the security manager, and he says he has spoken to her and that she had to go to a meeting, and couldnt find anyone to replace her and had left. I went to go and speak to her myself and she tells ME that her sister was in hospital in dire emergency and needed someone to be at her side. I like the escalation there, dont you? Anyway, turns out she was visiting a boyfriend. One of my staff from my old restaurant saw her. Shes fired. Bye bye!

I thought I had it all settled. The NGO were happy about the quick response. Fine.

Until Tuesday... I was at home chatting away online at about 9pm. I get a call. 'Miss P, your guard is drunk and had to be sent home. Please send a replacement'. Fuck. So I call the security manager on duty. No answer. I radio him. No answer. This guy is on duty for a security company in a dangerous city in a war torn country and he turns off his phone and his radio. About an hour later I get a call saying that the replacement has arrived. How the fuck that happened I have no idea because I didnt get hold of anyone. Someone just showed up. Wasn't gonna tell her that though. However, he was found asleep. An hour after arriving he was asleep. At 11pm at night. So fast asleep that she had to shake him to wake him. Luckily he pulled himself together enough to not appear drunk (which I have no doubt he was). Finally all is settled for the night, so I woke up the next day hoping I had sorted it out. I get a phone call at 7am. 'Miss P, your guard has arrived at work again. Yes, the one that was drunk last night. Yes, he is still drunk. And yes, he thinks he is working the day shift!' I wanted to cry.

I finally managed to get all the staff sorted out. I gave the security manager a serious screaming at (I say screaming at but rather it was a serious talking to. I seldom scream at staff, except at chefs for some reason. Maybe because they scream at me first..). Naturally he had an elaborate excuse as to why he couldnt possibly have his phone or radio on him. This is the third time I have had a disciplinary with the man. I have spent the last 6 days wondering how to fire the idiot, because he is fairly well connected to important people. But guess what? In true Sudanese style he simply hasnt shown up to work in 3 days. He got paid on Friday....and disappeared. *sigh*

So my boss arrived back yesterday to a contract gone horribly wrong, a manager that has run away, an an office that has staff files all over the place in an effort to work out who is who and where they are (I know its very un PC, but the only way I can tell these guys apart sometimes is the tribal scarring on their foreheads). Ah well, its just another day in paradise. Oddly I am having a wonderful day. I think I actually like stress. That or I am going native. I think thats more likely.....